you let me down. i begged you like lennon but instead you decided to abandon me while we were in the same bed. maybe i should have voiced my opinion but i know you well enough to call that you’d probably just agree with anything i said. there is no way in hell that you would fight to keep nothing. i don’t have the balls to say all the things i think and most of the time i’d rather fuck you then lie through my teeth. i wonder if you kiss her the way you kiss me in the morning and maybe you run your fingertips all over her bare skin with your lips on her neck. i bet she really liked it and i wonder if you were thinking about her when your mouth was on my stomach. we’re not together so this is not supposed to be fucking with my head. every body i know is looking for the next best thing and i’m bored of giving all of it up for nothing. i thought i could handle using you for a lover but i guess i’m just not old enough even when i’m not the one who has to grow up. i shouldn’t be crying myself to sleep in a hotel room while you are lying to the right of me. in the mean time i am pretending that it will kill you if i am the one who stumbles upon a fantasy. i’ve come to the conclusion that you will never be able to please me completely. you never wasted your time getting to know me.
i watched too many fairy tales when i was a child. there is no such thing as a prince in shining armor who’s going to kiss me and wake me from a day dream or leave me wild flowers and a poem hanging from a string around my dead bolt. i am in love with make believe and brilliant cut things but a kiss on the cheek is good enough for me. cross my heart. hope to die. stick a needle in my eye.