xoxo, nico

there’s the mean time and then there’s the time being but in my world it just seems like time is just being mean to me. i ran out of it hours, days, weeks and months flashes ago. i wasted it all laying in bed waiting for you to come calling. i wonder if you heard what i did. i wonder if you care that i may as well be in a coffin or maybe you’re the one silently punishing me for my actions. go ahead and try to make me feel guilty. try to make me feel like i’m the one that did something wrong. guess what: i can justify anything i do in the blink of your eye and out of the corner of mine i’ll watch myself leaving; go on now, sneak out the back door but you can’t come after me when you’re sustained by the grip of the pour little heiress you picked when you decided to get even your with your instinct. its too late to say you’re sorry and it takes to much energy to hate being in the same time at the same place. you are to blame for the demons you swallow like the larva floating at the bottom of a tequila bottle.

well hello there best friend, aka sunshine. i will never unconditionally love anything the same way i love you and i don’t even care that you left me for digital. she’s pretty with so many more capabilities and a really nice body. i can’t even compete. it was like a slap in the face when i found out you developed a relationship with technology, i should have saw it coming. in an instant my life changed and now it will never be the same. i keep trying to convert but its so difficult. i can’t get over how much i think about you and how long i can stare at the memories i secretly keep in a hat box hidden underneath his box spring. our love has been and will forever be forbidden.