xoxo, nico

remind me to bitch about this:

lately i’m beginning to think that no matter what i believe its nothing but an incomplete fantasy. i am normally abnormal and i don’t see things the way he does down on wall street. we are so opposite and the only time we would agree is when we were between the finest egytian cotton sheets. if i could take a piece or each of the celebrities i’ve been with and put them together like a puzzle i’d pick your kisses, his fingertips, the conversation with him, the way he held my hand with the way he had with words, his communication skills, the way you made me laugh until i almost peed my panties, his potential only with his success, how he never made me feel like i owed him a cent but with the way he watched me when i undressed. i never had anything to offer and i never expected anything in return. you can have all you want of me then maybe i can clear your plate then put it away in the cupboard nice and clean. each time i leave i sneak out the window and steal your spare keys.

it would be awesome if i had the balls to spit this all in your face but instead i’ll grin and wear it because that’s the right thing to do in his sticky situation. i could tell all and i will to the wrong person one day but until then i will end up your best friend and just in case you need a shirt because you lost yours during your walk of shame maybe i can lend you one but i would never expect you to replace it because i don’t really give a shit about material garments.  you fucked him so fuck you and fuck her and maybe fuck them too but from now on you should stand on your own two feet instead of using me for balance because i don’t owe you anything. i’ve done enough for free and what i got in return is nothing compared to the bullshit i’ve had to deal with and the comments that are nothing less than selfish. you will get whats coming to you. i promise you this: karma is a bitch.

i ran into wakey! wakey! last night at casey’s show. the last time i saw him was that mercury lounge when told me he was single. he introduced her as this is my girlfriend i forgot her name. i was wasted and i said whoa that was quick i had no idea you had one of those. she got so pissed but i swear it was totally innocent.

i was in high school when me and my friend went to the humane society then left with a kitten in my pocket. we lied and decided we were heroes for our rescue plot and i didn’t care how pissed my parents got i was not ever going to let them not let me keep my pet. cat sitting always reminds me why i left mine at home in romeo with my mom and pop every time i took off to a different city. willow and max live on the forth floor of an east village apartment building with the photo editor at page six magazine. right now she is in la la land shooting and they are mine for the week. this place is a cage compared to what puff sneaks around in plus she even gets to go outside.

duchess believes that the duke has been cheating on her since he moved out of the apartment that we used to share. i moved into his old room when fara princess took over mine but he was still using my floor for storage up until this morning. i was sitting on the stoop when abby road drove up with the duke shotgun all pissed because i tipped duchess off to a photo on the dream girl’s public profile of him hiding behind her uploaded during the last time i watched willow and max. i told him he was not allowed to be mad at me and i decided he can be one of those friends i don’t exactly trust. i just can’t get over the fact that he’s still scared to tell the whole truth and how he spins things in an attempt to justify his actions. its fascinating to see that what goes around can come back around in full spirals.

“getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. this is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than those with vastly superior talent.”

~ sophia loren