xoxo, nico

is there somebody out there who can possibly explain the difference between irony and coincidence while i’m sitting in between a boy in skinny red jeans and a twelve string. lately everything is a matrix. the chaos theory revolves around me multiplied by one two three.

you’ve been charged as a third party and i apologize in advance but i believe i might have to de-invite you to my apartment. a trial date has been set for tomorrow night at ten and you have the right to plead the fifth in front of a living room full of those so called friends. let the jury of your piers be the ones to choose who’s innocent even if you know who can prove you guilty beyond a reasonable connection. they can use my room to deliberate and vote the future of our fate and i will sit and wait in a photo booth behind a red velvet curtain until the decision has been made. let them be the one’s who uncover what lies between black and white linens while i take notes and exercise my right to remain silent even though i would love to laugh out loud at you’re little accusation. remember to knock before you enter when the door’s closed because if you don’t you could possibly walk into something you weren’t  supposed to know and all i’ll have to say then is i told you so. last week i got my passport in the post and i can’t wait to blow this popcicle place with my vintage suitcase packed full of exes and noes.

so much for hoping he was the next one and only. so much for his potential and the mixed messages in the voice mailed to me or the text he sent while he painted the town red. i thought he was different for a second and for the first time in my life i was going to try to take it slow instead of letting him rip off all my clothes as soon as i stepped foot over the threshold. they win when most of the time i loose but the truth is i’m really not that into the competition. what i don’t get is why he tried to come in between me and duchess. he sent me a mixed message first but she happened to be the one out so i guess it was more convenient for him to get to her side of town. a little bird told me he was all over her and she couldn’t help but notice he was socially ackward. what the fuck i just don’t get why they all only go for what they believe is easy. guess what: i have never had to work for what i got.

i was in high school when me and my friend went to the humane society then left with a kitten in my pocket. we lied and decided we were heroes for our rescue plot and i didn’t care how pissed my parents got i was not ever going to let them not let me keep my pet. cat sitting always reminds me why i left mine at home in romeo with my mom and pop every time i took off to a different city. willow and max live on the forth floor of an east village apartment building with the photo editor at page six magazine. right now she is in la la land shooting and they are mine for the week. this place is a cage compared to what puff sneaks around in plus she even gets to go outside.

duchess believes that the duke has been cheating on her since he moved out of the apartment that we used to share. i moved into his old room when fara princess took over mine but he was still using my floor for storage up until this morning. i was sitting on the stoop when abby road drove up with the duke shotgun all pissed because i tipped duchess off to a photo on the dream girl’s public profile of him hiding behind her uploaded during the last time i watched willow and max. i told him he was not allowed to be mad at me and i decided he can be one of those friends i don’t exactly trust. i just can’t get over the fact that he’s still scared to tell the whole truth and how he spins things in an attempt to justify his actions. its fascinating to see that what goes around can come back around in full spirals.

so friday night’s gonna be fun. atomictom’s on at arlene’s at eight. derek james is playing highline right before josh dion band celebrates a cd release. imagine all the ex-lovers i could potentially run into. wes hutchinson’s in town playing with clay aiken so the oracle fit him into a nine o’clock slot at rockwood. he’s going to be on tv all next week because some producer recommended him to the idol loser’s people. i wonder if all that air time will add up to fifteen minutes of fame and if he was playing letterman i totally would have been holding his hand. he was supposed to stay with me but he choose duchess instead because she lives on the a train and that’s closer to gibson. yeah whatever, love you too wes.

New York City Code § 10-125a(2)b. Consumption of alcohol on streets prohibited. No person shall drink or consume an alcoholic beverage, or possess, with intent to drink or consume, an open container containing an alcoholic beverage in any public place.

i left spike hill with a glass of white wine in my left hand and we walked several blocks before we realized that i broke the law but i did not get caught. ha.

if you think the grass is greener on the other side then by all means please leave. i love you so i’ll just watch you go and don’t worry because i’m not gonna try and stop you or try to get you to come back around. i’ll wave to your back side and wait for you to look behind even though i know that you won’t. i love you so i will leave you alone.

one time he came over with his vaporizer and we got really high. we talked all night but i forgot everything we said. i remember him kissing my cheek and i thought he was sweet. i kissed his lips and one thing led to the condom he had in his wallet. after he was done he got up and i thought he was going to the bathroom. instead he put on his socks then pants and bent down to kiss me on my forehead. he was out the door before i could even protest. now i find it amusing and i know that its not me and it is him. i will forgive but i will get revenge. i took the underwear he left in my bed to the gig and i hung them on his car antenna like a white flag with skids.

there i was all dressed in gold wondering up and down the aisles with things bought and sold like my soul to the devil. if only i realized i could have made twice what i did had i paid him on a tuesday. oh well i am not alone and everything comes back around three fold. you made your decision and that’s all. everything’s marked final. you will not budge from where your feet got cemented to the surface and you stay carefully upon it as if you’re walking on liquid. the problem is you’re standing still pretending you see further than the tip of you nose through those bi-focals you carefully clean with your handkerchief. you’re blind to the fact that you can step out of your shoes and your souls will follow you like shadows. they are the only ones who won’t leave you alone even though your feet may get cold.

so my phone rings a little after midnight and it was the one and only derek james. he asked me for a place to sleep in the city so i offered him the duke’s bed because he’s not coming back from london until this evening. we smoked a bunch of weed and he played his guitar in my room until i fell asleep. i woke up in the morning and found derek out cold in the duke’s bed with crumbs and empty packages of cookies, goldfish and candy. looks like somebody got the munchies.

the funniest thing about mr. d james stealing my cookies was after eating them when he had to pee and somehow he dropped his cell phone in the toilet bowl then had to fish it out before he flushed it down. ha ha, that my friend is what i call instant karma.