xoxo, nico

i don’t know. i don’t care. i’ll get there after i leave here. i can’t ever admit to having any place to be but when i woke up from being the lonely victim i landed on my knees hoping i would be high enough only to fall free landing flat on my face once again where i lost my head underneath like the ostrich who buried her body six feet beneath concrete. dandy lion weeds can die when they’re still seeds and there’s no telling how long its gonna take to dig through all those roots in order to find the full moon on the flip side of the rabbit hole. one day maybe soon i will comprehend the meaning of ideology and tell the difference between leaving and security but until then i might as well just sink into loose leaf sheets and not pay attention to anything but what i pretend to see through the looking glass that separates me from drowning underneath grains of raining sand.

you’ve been charged as a third party and i apologize in advance but i believe i might have to de-invite you to my apartment. a trial date has been set for tomorrow night at ten and you have the right to plead the fifth in front of a living room full of those so called friends. let the jury of your piers be the ones to choose who’s innocent even if you know who can prove you guilty beyond a reasonable connection. they can use my room to deliberate and vote the future of our fate and i will sit and wait in a photo booth behind a red velvet curtain until the decision has been made. let them be the one’s who uncover what lies between black and white linens while i take notes and exercise my right to remain silent even though i would love to laugh out loud at you’re little accusation. remember to knock before you enter when the door’s closed because if you don’t you could possibly walk into something you weren’t  supposed to know and all i’ll have to say then is i told you so. last week i got my passport in the post and i can’t wait to blow this popcicle place with my vintage suitcase packed full of exes and noes.

i know secrets. i’m not allowed to say anything to anyone and it’s all hush hush. don’t ask don’t tell relationships are the new trend but when the truth comes out someone’s gonna get fucked. its the sticky situations that get me in trouble. i always open my fucking mouth when i shouldn’t and then all of a sudden i find my self explaining something i shouldn’t even be telling to the person i’m standing in front of. its not my fault i swear it was the truth serum they spiked my sauvignon blanc with. woops i did it again and then a friend looses his job or someone blows up.