i’m missing my cousin’s wedding because my account is levied for a little trouble i got into when i was seventeen. well i guess it was a little bit more than a little; potentially, i suppose its considered big trouble. i pretended to be an old lady and forged her name at lowes, service merchandise and i forgot where else. my bond was twenty five thousand dollars and i was stuck in a cell almost all night until the steel door unlocked and they released me after i called my parents in hysterics. i was supposed to fly to california for a family trip the next day but as punishment my mum canceled my ticket. i was sentenced to four years of supervised probation, two hundred and fifty hours of community service and thousands of dollars in restitution. i had to take a drug test and pay several fees each day i reported to the state every month like clockwork. i figured out how to beat the system and only got caught once with coke in my veins; mdma, acid and mushrooms don’t show up.
my boyfriend at the time had a warrant out for his arrest because of some possession bullshit so when i got caught i didn’t dare to give out his contact information. after i lost my wallet michigan told me that my license was suspended because of some stupid driver responsibility fee i had no idea even existed so i set up a payment plan to have pay it off by being deducted from my chase account then all of a sudden my chase account was frozen. the state of michigan put a levy on me because of supervision fees i supposedly never paid even though i was convicted of the crimes i committed in tennessee. this is ridiculous because i was never in trouble with the state of michigan. guess what: michigan sucks. i was supposed to be up north attending my cousins wedding that my ex-boyfriend who helped me cause all this trouble is standing up in. what the fuck. yeah maybe you and my cousin are chums but he’s my blood and you’re the last mother fucker who should be there let alone standing up. thanks alot asshole i hope you had fun.