xoxo, nico

i was in a coma until a lifesaver woke me up from this never ending nightmare. he was there all along and in my wildest day dream i always believed a fantasy could turn into something real but i never dared myself to think it could happen to me. i have had the worst luck over these last couple months but i’m not going to let myself blame my personal responsibility on anyone else. if you’re up to the challenge then why don’t you step into my souls and take a little stroll around the block just to see what fun you could possibly run into if you pretend to be me. you can hold my hand while i tip toe barefoot through these puddles until we reach the swingset that takes us to the red hot air balloon when we transfer in order to get all the way up to the moon. i’m on the list with a plus one. there’s a hammock reserved for you and me but the dead bolt won’t open until you fix the lock or i locate the key.

i hate mail. i hate envelopes and i hate it when my door buzzes when i’m not expecting someone even if it is only the delivery man. i usually throw away any letter that doesn’t look like a hallmark card with my grandmother’s cursive because i’m terrified of what’s sealed inside. my daddy cut up all my credit cards and deals with the accounts receivable representatives who call my home number asking for me by my mispronounced name in an attempt to collect my dept. it’s like they never get it. if i answer i usually tell them sorry she’s not here because she’s dead.